Navigating FEAR

We can all agree that there is a lot of fear surrounding a cancer diagnosis. The C word is one of the scariest words in the world and it brings up all of the stories you have heard, the movies you have seen and the experiences you may have had with loved ones who have had cancer. This can create fear and stress.

When your body experiences fear and stress your sympathetic nervous system is activated. This system is commonly known as fight, flight or freeze. In an instant there is a physiological response that includes increased heart rate, dilation of pupils, withdrawing of blood of your external parts (fingers and toes) and more. The biggest response is the rushing of the stress hormone cortisol through your body. This hormone is activated to make you want to protect yourself, which is the fight response. It will make you want to run away from a threat like our ancestors did as they ran from wild animals, which is the flight response and it will support the freeze response that is meant to stop you so you can't be seen and therefore can avoid danger.

In the world of cancer you need to learn how to manage stress because you want to keep the stress hormones down. It is becoming well known that the stress response in the body can lead to inflammation which over long periods of time is not health supportive. Learning to manage fear and stress will help support a healthier body, mind and spirit and needs to be part of your healing regimen.

Understanding fear versus FEAR

There is fear and then there is FEAR. Fear is the emotional response to a situation. This is a normal feeling when you are afraid that something is going to happen or that you are at risk. Fear is part of the cancer process given the seriousness of this disease and all the unknowns that go along with it.

FEAR on the other hand is a thought process in your mind that comes from the stories you tell yourself. These stories are based on circumstances that uncomfortable, overwhelming and unknown. FEAR can come from the thoughts you experience about pains you may feel in your body like 'is this pain cancer coming back?' Or from upcoming tests or scans and the uncertainty of what the results will be. Fear can be very overwhelming in your life and so can FEAR. The good news is when you understand FEAR you can reduce your fear.

FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. This acronym is a helpful way to learn how to understand what you are feeling and how to manage those feelings.

A good example is when you have an upcoming scan. Your brain is going to tell you all of the stories about how they are going to find something on the scan, and even that the cancer is back, growing, changed etc. The truth is that in most cases you really don't know if something is wrong. This is the false evidence. What your brain is doing is making this thought appear real in your mind and it is activating your stress response to try to protect you. This turns on your cortisol and you start to experience fight, flight or freeze. This can be a problem for your well-being if you don't know how to slow down or even stop the FEAR thoughts.

Ask Yourself These Questions

What is the thought I am having?

Why am I thinking this thought?

Do I have any proof that it is a real situation or that something is actually wrong?

When you can identify what is happening you can start to manage it. There is the possibility that something is wrong and that it will be found during the scan. But, in the meantime, when you don't know with certainty that something is wrong, what happens is you stress yourself out and you rob yourself of living right now because you are projecting into the future to a problem that may not exist. If there is a problem your medical team will find it and manage it. That is a future situation. 

What you can do to reduce FEAR

Recognize the thoughts you are having and the response they are creating in your body, mind and spirit.

Remind yourself of all of the things you are doing to support your health and healing.

Live in the present. Projecting into the future robs you of today.          

Use positive affirmations to support your belief in yourself.

There is a lot to manage when you are living with cancer. Learning tools and strategies to support yourself is a key part of the healing process. When you support yourself and believe in yourself you are empowering yourself and taking back some of the control you may feel you have lost in your life. And, you can always seek out support from friends, family, therapists or a certified cancer coach to help you along the way.

Kathryn White is a Certified Holistic Cancer Coach who supports women to turn their cancer diagnosis into a thriving story one woman at a time.