Looking for the “Right” Answer
There is a belief in many people who have been diagnosed with cancer that if you can just learn enough, you will feel more in control. So you start to research, read articles, join Facebook groups, and listen to podcasts. You search for survivor stories. You do all of this because you want to know everything you possibly can about cancer and what you need to do.
This may feel like the responsible thing to do, but instead something unexpected may happen. The more information you find, the more overwhelmed you can become. One article will tell you one thing, while another will completely contradicted it. One person might insist there is only one way to eat while another shars a completely different approach.
What can happen is that as everyone seems certain in their thoughts and opinions, you may become more uncertain.
What is happening here is that you aren’t missing information; you are missing guidance.
Cancer Doesn’t Just Change Your Body
One of the least talked about parts of living with cancer is how many decisions you’re suddenly expected to make.
Should I get a second opinion?
Should I tell my employer?
Should I exercise today or rest?
Should I travel?
Should I change my diet?
Should I take this supplement?
Should I ask another question?
Should I go back to work?
Should I say yes to this treatment?
None of these decisions exist in isolation. Each one feels important because it feels connected to your health, your future, and sometimes even your survival. And, it’s exhausting. Psychologists call this decision fatigue. The more difficult decisions you make, the harder it becomes to make the next one well. Cancer creates decision fatigue almost every single day.
Why More Information Doesn’t Always Help
Most people assume confidence comes from having more information, but confidence and information aren’t the same thing. Think about the last time you searched online for answers. Did you feel calmer after reading five different opinions or did you leave with even more questions? Information tells you what is possible, but it is guidance that helps you decide what is right for you.
That’s a very different thing.
The Difference Between Information and Guidance
Imagine you’re hiking through a forest. Someone hands you a detailed map showing every trail. That’s information.
Now imagine someone walks beside you who has travelled that path before. They point out where the trail becomes steep. They remind you where to slow down. They reassure you when the path feels uncertain. That’s guidance.
Both have value, but when the road feels unfamiliar, most of us don’t simply want another map. We want someone who understands the journey. That was certainly true for me.
One of the biggest turning points in my own cancer experience came when I stopped trying to know everything and started learning from people who understood what I was living through.
I Wasn’t Looking for Someone With All the Answers
One realization has stayed with me throughout my own journey and now guides the work I do with cancer survivors every day.
I wasn’t looking for someone with all the answers.
I was looking for someone who understood the questions.
Someone who understood why every scan felt overwhelming, who understood why a simple grocery shopping trip could suddenly feel stressful. Someone who understood why making even ordinary decisions suddenly felt so much harder.
Being understood doesn’t eliminate uncertainty, but it does make uncertainty easier to navigate.
A Different Way to Make Decisions
Inside my Cancer Thriver Pathway, I teach a framework called The Cancer Compass.
I created it because I realized people don’t need another checklist, they need a way to navigate decisions when there isn’t one obvious right answer. Unlike a roadmap, a compass doesn’t tell you exactly where to go. It simply helps you keep moving in the right direction, even when the path changes.
Cancer rarely gives us certainty, but it is possible to move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and peace.
Sometimes the next right step is all you need.
A Simple Exercise to Try Today
Think about one decision you’ve been avoiding.
Maybe it’s asking for help.
Starting exercise again.
Seeking another opinion.
Returning to work.
Or simply deciding what feels right for your body.
Take out a piece of paper and answer these four questions:
- What do I know for certain?
- What assumptions am I making?
- Who do I trust to help me think this through?
- What is the next right step, even if it isn’t the perfect one?
You don’t have to solve everything today.
You only have to take your next thoughtful step.
That is how confidence begins.
Cancer Changes Many Things
One of them is the number of decisions you have to make.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re carrying more than most people realize.
Remember this:
You don’t need every answer before you can move forward.
Sometimes you simply need someone who understands the questions, and sometimes, that’s what changes everything.
Ready to get support in building a life that feels aligned and healing after cancer? My THRIVE coaching and resources are here to guide you. Let’s walk this path together.
If you would like to know more about the concept of living with cancer, I have written a book all about my personal experience with moving from survivor to thriver. In my book I offer anecdotes and strategies that will encourage you to learn how to thrive with cancer. You can get a copy of Living to Thrive: a holistic guide to living with cancer here.
You don’t have to navigate cancer alone. As a Cancer Coach I support cancer survivors who are looking for more than just surviving day to day – they want to learn how to thrive with cancer. The THRIVE Cancer Coaching Program is a space for you to learn and grow while getting one to one support from a ten year cancer thriver. Let’s talk about how coaching can help you create abundance in your life with cancer. Schedule a free coaching call today to learn more about coaching and how to get started.
Kathryn White is a Cancer Coach who supporting cancer survivors to turn their cancer diagnosis into a thriving story one day at a time.
