In March 2015, at just 43 years old, I heard the words no one expects to hear.
“You have stage 4 colon cancer.”
In the months that followed, I went through 12 rounds of chemotherapy, two cancer-related surgeries, and more scans, blood work, and appointments than I could possibly count.
Looking back, I now know that one of the hardest parts wasn’t just the treatment, it was the overwhelming feeling that I had to become an expert overnight. Suddenly, everyone had advice about what to eat, what supplements to take, which treatments to ask about, and what I should avoid. They even started to tell me how I should think and how I should feel.
Everything that I learned left me feeling more confused, anxious, and overwhelmed. I thought the answer was learning more, but what I eventually discovered was that what I really needed wasn’t more information. I needed clarity.
Why Overwhelm Is a Normal Response to Cancer
Cancer doesn’t just affect your body, it affects every part of your life. In what feels like an instant, you’re faced with decisions about treatments, medications, nutrition, exercise, work, finances, relationships, and the future you thought you were building.
At the same time, you’re trying to process fear, uncertainty, grief, and the emotional impact of hearing the words, “You have cancer.” That’s a tremendous amount for anyone to carry. It’s no wonder so many people describe feeling like they’re drowning.
Decision Fatigue Is Real
One of the things that surprised me most wasn’t just the big decisions. It was the endless stream of small ones.
What should I eat?
Should I take this supplement?
Do I need more rest, or should I push myself to exercise?
Should I go to that family gathering?
Should I keep working?
There were days when I felt like I had already made a hundred decisions before lunchtime. I even remember moments when someone would ask me what I wanted for dinner, and I simply couldn’t answer, in fact sometimes I would start to cry. Not because I didn’t care, but because one more question was just too much. My brain had reached its limit.
When you’re living with cancer, even simple decisions can feel exhausting. What’s important to know is that isn’t laziness.
It’s decision fatigue.
Why Your Brain Feels Stuck
When you’re living with cancer, your nervous system is working overtime. Your brain is constantly scanning for danger because it’s trying to protect you. When we’re under prolonged stress, the brain becomes less effective at prioritizing, solving problems, and making decisions.
In your brain’s processing everything begins to feel urgent, important, and it feels like it has life-changing consequences. That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of making decisions or managing your thoughts and actions. It means you’re human. Understanding this helped me stop criticizing myself for feeling overwhelmed. Instead, I learned to offer myself the same compassion I would offer someone else walking through cancer.
Clarity Creates Calm
One of the biggest shifts in my own walk with cancer happened when I stopped asking,“What else do I need to know?” and started asking,
“What’s the next right step?”
That one question changed everything. What I realized was that I didn’t have to solve the next year, I only needed to take the next step. Some days, that meant going to my treatment while other days, it meant taking a walk, or even just resting without feeling guilty. Small, intentional steps helped quiet the noise.
You don’t need to have every answer to be moving forward, you just need to know where to focus today.
You Don’t Have to Figure It All Out Today
If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, I hope you’ll remember this:
You don’t have to read every article.
You don’t have to make every decision today.
You don’t have to have your entire future figured out.
Healing isn’t about knowing everything.
It’s about learning to trust yourself enough to take one step at a time.
Cancer may have changed your life, but it doesn’t have to steal your ability to find moments of calm, clarity, and hope along the way.
