When facing illness, uncertainty, or life transitions, our minds can become crowded with thoughts that fuel fear, worry, and overwhelm. These difficult thoughts – What if this doesn’t work?, I can’t handle this, I feel so alone – are often automatic. They arise without invitation and, if left unchecked, can take us down a spiral of stress and anxiety.
But here’s the powerful truth: you are not your thoughts. And, you don’t have to believe everything your mind tells you.
Understanding the Mind’s Role in Stress
Our brains are wired for survival. This means they are constantly scanning for danger and creating narratives to keep us safe. Unfortunately, in the modern world, and especially when navigating something like a cancer diagnosis, this mechanism often shows up as negative self-talk, catastrophic thinking, and endless “what-ifs.”
These mental patterns are normal, but they can be exhausting. Over time, they increase your stress load, sap your energy, and make it harder to access hope, calm, and clarity.
So how do we begin to shift out of that?
The Power of Reframing
Reframing is the practice of looking at a thought or situation from a different angle, one that feels more supportive, spacious, and grounded.
It doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff. It means choosing to see your experience through a lens that empowers you rather than depletes you.
Here’s how it works:
- Notice the Thought
Start by becoming aware of your difficult thoughts. For example: “I’m terrified this will come back.”
- Acknowledge the Emotion
Instead of pushing it away, take a breath and name what you’re feeling: “I feel afraid. That makes sense. This is hard.”
- Gently Reframe
Then ask: Is there another way I could look at this that feels more supportive?
You might reframe to:
“I don’t know what will happen, but right now, I’m doing everything I can to support my healing.”
This shift doesn’t erase the fear, but it creates space between you and the thought. It gives you a bit more control, a bit more calm.
Examples of Reframing in Action
| Difficult Thought | Reframe |
| “I feel weak.” | “My body is healing, and rest is part of strength.” |
| “I can’t handle this.” | “I don’t have to handle everything at once. I can take it one breath at a time.” |
| “Nothing is going the way I planned.” | “This isn’t what I expected, but I’m learning how to adapt and care for myself differently.” |
Why Reframing Works
Reframing helps regulate your nervous system. When your thoughts are grounded in compassion and present-moment awareness, your body can begin to shift out of fight-or-flight mode and into a state more conducive to healing.
It also helps you build resilience. By practicing reframing regularly, you begin to strengthen the inner voice that says: I can do this. I’m not alone. There is still beauty and meaning here.
A Gentle Practice to Try
Next time you notice a difficult thought, pause. Place your hand over your heart and say:
“This is a moment of challenge. I choose to respond with care.”
Then ask yourself:
- Is this thought helpful or hurtful?
- What would I say to a friend thinking this?
- What’s one more compassionate way I could see this?
Even the smallest shift can make a big difference.
Navigating difficult thoughts is part of the human experience, especially during times of illness or recovery. But you don’t have to stay stuck in patterns that drain your hope or energy. With awareness, compassion, and the practice of reframing, you can begin to reclaim a sense of calm and agency, one thought at a time.
You are stronger than your fear. And there is always a new way to see your story.
Want support in building a life that feels aligned and healing after cancer? My THRIVE coaching and resources are here to guide you. Let’s walk this path together.
If you would like to know more about the concept of living with cancer, I have written a book all about my personal experience with moving from survivor to thriver. In my book I offer anecdotes and strategies that will encourage you to learn how to thrive with cancer. You can get a copy of Living to Thrive: a holistic guide to living with cancer here.
You don’t have to navigate cancer alone. As a Certified Holistic Cancer Coach I support women who are looking for more than just surviving day to day – they want to learn how to thrive with cancer. The THRIVE Cancer Coaching Program is a space for you to learn and grow while getting one to one support from a ten year cancer thriver. Let’s talk about how coaching can help you create abundance in your life with cancer. Schedule a free 30 minute call today to learn more about coaching and how to get started.
Kathryn White is a Certified Holistic Cancer Coach who supports women to turn their cancer diagnosis into a thriving story one woman at a time.
